Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Unified Theory of Snobbery

So, after yesterday’s, seemingly weekly encounter with the most self-centered, bitter people on the face of the earth – the Schwaban German – I thought of two possible theories that can explain the reason for their snobbery.  So, here are my theories for a unified theory of level of general happiness.

1.  Wealth is inversely proportional to happiness.  Granted, this will have exceptions, however, I think it’s a good place to start.  Here, without exception each act of condescension, rude behavior, stealing mother-child parking spots, driving without regard for others, and general obliviousness to the existence of any person other than themselves is done by a middle-aged white German, who is obviously affluent, with no children in sight, driving an 80,000 Euro Mercedes.  He/she smokes like a chimney, and drinks like a fish.  They treat children as not just an inconvenience but an assault on their very existence.  They regard others as a lower class of human.  They are the ones who glower at you and expect you to move immediately out of their way in the market when you turn a corner.  They are the ones who drive 30 mph plus in a crowded parking lot.  They are the ones who will disregard the countless open parking spots to take the remaining, larger parking spots reserved for parents with small kids, and then turn their noses up on you when confronted.  You contrast this with other Germans from other parts of the country, in the smaller cities and towns.  They value children.  They value other people.  They do not make 300,000 Euros a year.

2.  The percentage of armed citizenry is directly proportional to the level of civility in society.  See all of the above and contrast it with the American South.  I don’t think these rich snobs would dare cop this kind of attitude if they thought Joe and his licensed, concealed 40mm would take exception to that kind of treatment.  Think about it.  It’s kind of like crime statistics.  The more guns are allowed, the less crime.  Same should apply to civil treatment.

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